


scream drive faster

by paradisol, virtuosol



Category: LOONA (Korea Band)
Genre: Gen, Healing, but only sometimes, dad rock is acceptable sometimes, ever been on a family roadtrip?, extremely brief mentions of physical abuse, if it wasn't obvious already oliyves are sisters, it's like that but with more internalized depression, obligatory ensemble cast a la kpop fanfiction
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-06
Updated: 2021-02-06
Packaged: 2021-03-18 00:02:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,438
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29234226
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/paradisol/pseuds/paradisol, https://archiveofourown.org/users/virtuosol/pseuds/virtuosol
Summary: I promise.Hyejoo knew those words well. Though they hadn’t been uttered in years, having heard them tonight was enough to stop her worries from festering into something worse. Because if there was one thing the past had proved time and time again, it was that Sooyoung never made promises unless she intended to keep them. From back then until now, not one had been broken—and there was little that anyone could do to stop her sister after a deal was struck.So went the impression, anyway.
Relationships: Ha Sooyoung | Yves & Son Hyejoo | Olivia Hye
Comments: 4
Kudos: 16
Collections: Alphabet Soup Fic Fest





	scream drive faster

**Author's Note:**

> **prompt LFF096** : yves and olivia are a couple of runaways with an old camaro and a bag full of enough gas money and food to get them through to next week. they’ve got no plan, and not even a destination in mind except for the next horizon. all they know is they can’t turn back now, or ever.
> 
> brought to you by two best friends who somehow do and don't have enough time on their hands to indulge in ostensibly benign family trauma. enjoy.
> 
> title taken from [scream drive faster](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gaPja9pPVRU) by laurel.

_Fuck, this hurts,_ Sooyoung thought as she licked away whatever blood she could from the semi-fresh gash on her upper lip. _Stupid, stupid, stupid._

It wasn’t the first time she’d busted it in the name of defiance, that was for sure, but prior experience never did have a part in easing the woes of those who suffer. Anyone who thought otherwise was just a fool, though probably not any more foolish than Sooyoung herself—the lone jester of a dying household, heir to the name but also its shameless killer.

“You okay?” Hyejoo asked, finally breaking her silence which started the second they got away with the Camaro. What was that, half an hour ago?

“Yeah.” Sooyoung paused to let her nerves settle a bit. “I am.”

More used to going through the motions of self-care than her sister would ever know, she pulled some hair back to apply her spare Neosporin on the wound in practiced comfort. Taking stock of the damage from her reflection in the visor mirror, she came to the rather surprising conclusion that this might’ve been their father’s worst punch yet; which was a blessing in its own weird, twisted way, but at least it also marked the last entry to a seemingly never-ending chronicle of conflict that had started when they were but children.

“Put this in the glove.” She tossed the tube without sparing a glance at Hyejoo, whose expression was unreadable behind long-drawn shadows. “Or use it. I don’t know, just do something.”

Exhausted, callous, rueful—these were all words that could’ve been used to describe Sooyoung’s current state of being, though none came quite as close to capturing her truth like another: confused.

As for whether or not her younger sister was keen enough to piece together the clues of a well-hidden narrative, she couldn’t tell; nor was she that eager to find out. It was bad enough that they were far past the point where things could get swept under the rug like normal, and as someone who had more secrets to hide than her measly back-seat duffel could fit, the simple fact left her feeling vexed like no other.

Yet, for all it was worth, it seemed like Hyejoo could at least empathize with what she _did_ know. The mutual understanding, however slight, brought them right back into the persistent silence of two hearts guarded; but instead of addressing it like a good sibling might have, Sooyoung simply pushed it aside in favor giving herself some time to recoup.

“I need a minute,” she said as cold palms met her heated face. Leaning back into the seat, she took a shallow breath and let her mind wander as quiet comforted her in ways she’d no doubt grown too accustomed to. But still, through that quiet, she could recognize the signs to say that this was just the start of a long, long night.

And to think, this all happened on the night she decided to sleep in her own bed for once.

  
  


***

  
  


The glow of a rising dawn danced across Sooyoung’s vision in flits of yellow and orange as she descended onto her favorite stool, humming all the while to the circadian rhythm of Mother Nature’s gleam. Gentle and ever-soothing, she breathed deeply as she attuned herself to her surroundings, finding joy in even the littlest of things—the _clinks_ of silverware against white ceramic, the scent of mildly burnt toast; the horrific, telltale scrape of twisted metal against poor timber that came from beneath her, courtesy of one missing rubber stool cap.

Sooyoung grimaced. 

_I seriously gotta get that fixed._

Exceptional and yet unremarkable all the same, the woman had long decided that mornings spent at Jiwoo’s place doubled effectively as a home away from home: though the phrase itself meant little to her, as it was.

Because despite how cliche it sounded, home really was where the heart was—and for Sooyoung, said heart could only be found in the quaint living space that she and her girlfriend occupied on their own, far and away from the familial skeletons in her closet that would certainly haunt her otherwise. It came as a mild surprise, then, when Jiwoo furrowed her brow and spoke her mind in the softest of voices, perhaps unknowingly setting in motion a train of thought that Sooyoung hadn’t bothered to revisit in a long, long time.

“Youngie, what’s your family like?” 

The _Youngie_ in question had only managed to take a single bite of her avocado toast when the mental snare was sprung.

“Uh, they’re okay, I guess. Why?”

Jiwoo looked away for a moment before shrugging. “Just wondering. Since you never mention them when we’re together. Like, ever.”

“Well… It’s not on purpose, if that makes it any better,” Sooyoung said, making it a point to push her plate aside. “Normal people don’t really have casual talks about family, anyway.”

“I do.” The shorter girl bit her lower lip and sighed. “And Jungeun too, with Jinsol.”

_Oh God, not them._

“I don’t know how to tell you this, Wooming, but those two are _not_ a normal couple. They can barely stay together for two weeks before one of them ends up on your couch for the next month.”

“That’s true, but I don’t care if they’re normal or not; I just like that they talk, because I know we don’t.”

“We talk all the time, though.”

“Not about you. It’s always about _my_ day, _my_ work, and what _I_ want. ” Jiwoo’s tiredness was becoming more and more clear with each word spoken. “I just… You know what babe, it’s okay. I’m not gonna make you do anything, so let’s eat.”

The soft reassurances rang true in Sooyoung’s mangled neurons as her normally strong stomach churned from an acute sense of guilt, because even after eight months of being together, she couldn’t recall a single time where Jiwoo pushed her beyond reasonable demand which, at most, consisted of personal photoshoots at the park or public displays of affection; but it also wasn’t a stretch to say that with a girlfriend like her, neither of those came entirely unwelcome.

In short, Jiwoo Kim was the best thing to happen to the young Ha, and like all good girlfriends, she deserved the best—if not better and beyond.

“Alright,” Sooyoung began, placing a gentle hand on the other girl’s knee. “Where do you wanna start?”

The gesture earned her a saintly smile, and before she knew it, her Wooming had moved to pair their chairs together at one side of the table. 

“Your sister. What’s she like? Are you two close?”

_Fuck, we’re actually doing this._

“Hyejoo? She’s… a good kid. I think.” 

“You think? So you’re not close?”

“No. Not anymore, I guess.”

“Why?”

Although innocent in nature, the thought of unpacking their family history gave Sooyoung more than enough grief to process as it tore through her conscience like a hot knife. That was to say, there were too many reasons to count or remember, and thinking back on any or all to find one was just an exercise in futility—especially when the problem always lied with her and nobody else.

But could she admit that to Jiwoo, who still hadn’t been exposed to any of that?

“I think we just grew up differently.”

Apparently not.

  
  


***

  
  


It was the subtle pop of an unlocking door that snapped Sooyoung back to reality as a near unbearable breeze soiled her memory.

“What are you doing?” she asked, eyes opening to catch her sister already halfway out of the seat.

“Getting out.”

“Okay, well, you can get back in now. It’s cold.”

“I’m warm enough.” 

“I meant _I’m_ getting cold, so sit down and close the door.”

Half-expecting the request to fall on deaf ears, Sooyoung was met with the odd surprise of Hyejoo’s full compliance, as not two seconds after she made the request did the cold make itself sparse in their presence.

_She really is a good kid._

“Where were you gonna go?”

No response.

“That’s what I thought. You have no cash, no plans, no anything.”

“I have money.”

“You’re eighteen and work at a knock-off Best Buy. There _is_ no money.”

“I’ve been saving.”

“Sure. And how long is that gonna last? A month? Two, even? Nobody’s going to rent their place out to you.”

“Then where am I supposed to go?!”

Sooyoung’s breath hitched at the words she’d been expecting all night. After running through all the scenarios in her head, there was only one that could solve both of their problems, and she had wanted to avoid mentioning it if at all possible. Yet, it didn’t seem like the cards were stacked in her favor.

“With me,” she said, careful not to let her voice waver in uncertainty. “I don’t know where, but we’ll figure it out.”

Her words hung dead and true in the air, seconds away from falling apart at the seams while suspended in an ambivalence that grew with each passing breath—to which the frigid night, much like Hyejoo herself, seemed to still at the bold, yet shaky declaration.

A mild agitation soon crawled its way under Sooyoung’s skin, gasping in a triumph propelled by none other than familiar, insidious guilt; only to abate in the next moment, relenting in a stunning admission of acceptance from the stranger in her passenger seat.

“Fine,” Hyejoo said, expelling a bated breath. The younger of the two slumped in her seat, head pointedly turned to look out the dark expanse of the window. Then, in the slightest of utterances: “Thanks.”

Sooyoung nodded, immensely grateful for the shadows that obscured each telling crack in her otherwise stoic countenance. 

“Yeah.”

  
  


*******

  
  


_Power: Off._

Yawning as she tossed the now-dormant headphones to the other side of bed, Sooyoung wondered how long it’d been since she’d put them on to begin with. Although she hadn’t actually kept track of the hours, a quick glance at the clock told her that it was about time to emerge from the safehaven that was her room: an action taken not out of willing desire, but rather, unavoidable necessity. After all, she was just another girl plagued by an apathy that started at the mountain of assignments atop her desk and ended at the habitual putterings of a household that she bothered to neither register nor check-in with on the regular, if ever.

However, even she knew that apathy meant very little when it came to fulfilling the basic functions of staying alive—so she trudged downstairs in routine fashion, seeking to reprieve her body of its unintended punishment.

_A cup of ramen noodles sounds good right about now._

Sooyoung decided that the well-lit kitchen constituted a welcome change in scenery, due in large part to her current status as its sole occupant amidst a breath of fresh air; and before long, the rumble of a kettle set to boil drummed idly in her ears. Though if it were perhaps a decibel higher, then maybe—just maybe—she wouldn’t have to be privy to the conversation that now floated in from the living room, its contents discernible in scathing clarity. 

“Mom, can you help me with this question?” came her sister’s voice, colored with the childlike vexation typical of any twelve year old. “I can’t figure it out.”

Their mother hummed noncommittally, audibly flipping through what Sooyoung could only presume to be Hyejoo’s math homework. 

“Why don’t you just ask your sister, sweetie? I’m sure she’d know.”

Sooyoung sighed inwardly as she braced for her mother’s call, but unlike all the other evenings, someone was there to stop it from happening altogether; and in being conscious of the kettle that was sure to whistle at any moment, she slid it off the burner to listen for the rest. 

“I don’t wanna,” huffed Hyejoo, voice steeled in surprising petulance. “She hates helping me with stuff.”

“Oh, don’t say that, sweetie. She loves you.”

“Doesn’t feel like it.” 

Both the chilling pause and her sister’s comment gave Sooyoung reason to freeze on the spot. Eyes drifting to the drawer where they usually kept ramen, she felt her jaw clench as the desire to slip on her headphones once more won against her hunger. Though it would probably be more accurate to say she didn’t have an appetite at all. 

Or maybe she did, and it was just desperate for a reality that wasn’t her own.

 _Fair enough,_ she thought.

Fair enough, was right.

*******

  
  


Eyes bleary in equal parts pain and fatigue, Sooyoung killed the engine with practiced ease as she grabbed the winch below her seat and cranked it upwards, kicking off the floor of the car to reel back in one sliding, rattling motion. 

The meandering search for a place to crash had exacted its toll upon the woman, leaving behind the remnants of a husk devoid of both physical and emotional vigor. Though, to be clear, Sooyoung was no stranger to the threshold of worldly exhaustion—she’d been here many times before, and if it were a situation like any other, she may have very well called it then and there, curling comfortably within the safety of her car until day rose once more.

It was, however, clearly not a situation like any other, with her beloved Camaro housing not the presence of one, but three: her sister, Sooyoung herself, and lastly—certainly the least—the incessant, foreboding silence that sank upon them like a bedraggled corpse in a freshwater lake.

She heaved yet another sigh, earning nothing less than a sidelong glance from the teenager beside her.

“You okay?” Hyejoo asked for the second, and what Sooyoung hoped was the last time this night. 

“Yeah, I’m just—let me just check this place out for a second.”

“Wait, you wanna stay _here?_

Despite having absolutely no prior track record to refer to in recent memory, she knew Hyejoo had a point. They had arrived at perhaps the most nondescript of motels, the kind where paint peeled off the walls in flecks of brown and white; where vacancies were indicated by way of busted neon lights, sickly pale and ghastly fluorescent; the kind that, when all was said and done, _still_ managed to present itself as a bastion of respite—no matter how unsavoury, dubious, or outlandish.

“It’s not _that_ bad,” Sooyoung muttered, swinging open the driver’s door with renewed resolve. “Grab our stuff in the back while I book us a room.”

Hyejoo only offered a furrowed brow in response before sheer necessity compelled her to hop out and retrieve their things in similar, wordless fashion. 

Sooyoung, as such, began the short walk to the lobby of the motel, taking her phone out as she did so to stare at a sight that surely made for sore eyes: gaunt, disheveled, and bleeding, the woman that peered back was nothing short of suspicious.

 _Fuck. I can’t go in looking like this._

Hastily running a hand through her hair, she tucked what few loose strands there were in an attempt to at least _look_ like someone who hadn’t faced the brunt of a coarse fist just moments prior. Wincing with unease, she then wiped the damning crimson from the corners of her mouth and rearranged her expression in what she hoped was a friendly smile.

It wasn’t.

Sooyoung’s reflection scowled back at her from its glassy confines, brows fraught with trepidation and unmistakable tension. The woman sighed, conceding her fate to the poor soul who would soon have the displeasure of dealing with someone as irrevocably weary as herself. 

_Jiwoo always does the smiling_ , she thought sourly, arms moving to push open the door to her destination.

Her arrival came in the pealing, tinny chime of a bell, an unpleasant sound that immediately garnered the attention of the motel receptionist who, by all accounts, looked far too chipper for a place as desolate as the one they found themselves in.

“Hi,” Sooyoung started, patting down her pockets for the familiar shape of her wallet. “Room for two, please. Single beds.”

The receptionist gave her a quick once over and nodded, fingers clacking away at a keyboard that had definitely seen more than its fair share of spills. 

“Sorry, hun, looks like we’re fresh out. Can you settle for a double?”

_You can’t be serious._

“Uh, could you maybe check aga—”

“Nope. That’s all we got.”

The woman unceremoniously pressed a clipboard for check-in into Sooyoung’s hands, to which the latter gave her a long blink in response before picking up a pen to sign her fate away. Shockingly easy, for all the baggage she carried.

But even though the whole ordeal had swiftly metastasized into one of the worst nights of her life, she was determined to find a silver lining behind it all. This time, it came in the form of an actual room to sleep in; because for all the love she harbored for her Camaro, there was just no getting past the leather interior and its gracious gift of soreness for anyone who dared to break it in—willing or otherwise. 

“Here,” she said, lifting the pen from its place on the dotted line. 

“Thank you kindly, darlin’. Check-out’s normally at 2, but you’re welcome to take as long you like.”

With the keys dropped directly in her palm, there was nothing else to stop her from finally getting the rest she deserved, save for the arrangement of having to sleep with her sister for the first time in over a decade.

Then again, was it really that big of a deal?

  
  


*******

  
  


“There’s only one bed,” said Hyejoo flatly. 

“Oh, I’m well aware,” said Sooyoung, equally monotone in her urge to massage her temples at the needless statement, “but it’s all they had, so we’re just gonna have to deal with it.”

It was clear that Hyejoo wasn’t thrilled about the room, but it wasn’t like the sentiment was hers alone. In fact, the more Sooyoung pondered, the more she realized that perhaps they had more in common than she initially thought. Maybe there was actually some truth behind the old adage of misery enjoying company—and as inappropriate as it was, Sooyoung couldn’t help but let out a quiet huff at the thought. _What do they call it, again? Poetic justice?_

Irony aside, her musings soon came to an abrupt end as the sound of Hyejoo unzipping her backpack pierced through the musty room, stirring dormant specks of dust all around in a way that surely didn’t do favors for either of them. 

“I’m gonna take a shower.”

Sooyoung gave an absentminded nod as she tugged on the warmth of her jacket, spinning slowly to face the direction in which they just came. “I’ll step out for a bit, then,” she said, eager to end the conversation that was already too stifling to bear. But it wasn’t until her hand was on the knob that she paused and looked back, a momentary hesitance that lingered in the words at the very tip of her tongue.

“Make sure you lock the door. Keys are with me.”

Hyejoo arched her eyebrow, standing equally still before pulling more stuff out of her bag.

“Yeah. Sure.”

And with that, Sooyoung was up and out once more, freeing herself from the tension that blanketed their room to reemerge into the cold of night. 

While getting some fresh air was indeed in her best interests, the fact was only a partial item to the complete whole, being that she missed her girlfriend dearly and, at the very least, owed her _some_ semblance of assurance about what was going to happen next.

Not that she knew, of course.

Fishing her phone from its dedicated pocket, she dialled Jiwoo’s number with muscle memory she wasn’t aware still existed in her tired state. The phone rang once; then twice; then a third time before someone finally picked up to greet her in half-foreign, half-adorably garbled speech.

“Heluh? Whosit?”

“Wooming, it’s me.”

“Me? Me...” Sooyoung listened as the sleepy girl tried to remember the voice calling her. “Baby...”

“Yes, it’s Baby.” 

“Why?”

“I wanted to hear your voice.” She allowed a solemn smile to form on her face as pebbles rolled under the sway of her foot. “And I have something kinda important to tell you. So listen carefully, okay?” She waited for the telltale rustle of bedsheets and a low hum before continuing, “Me and Hyejoo got into some trouble today.”

“Trouble…”

“Yeah, but it’s nothing big. We’ll just be out of town for a little bit.”

It seemed like her worst fears were about to become reality as silence fell between them like it never did before, but luckily enough for the both of them, Jiwoo wasn’t the type to let things stew—much unlike an odd pair of siblings she knew. 

“Whad’you mean? Are you safe?”

“I’m fine. Don’t worry.”

As sweet as she wanted her words to sound, Sooyoung knew there was no comfort to be found between the harsh lines; and for all the times she had ever let her girlfriend down, this one was well on its way to eclipsing everything else in terms of hurt _and_ guilt. 

“Sorry for calling so late. Like I said, it’s no big deal so you can go back to sleep—”

“Youngie, it’s okay. I trust you. Promise you’ll tell me everything later?”

_Sanctity, thy name is Jiwoo._

“I will. I promise. Anything else?”

“I love you.” The younger girl paused. “Goodnight.”

_I love you too._

“Goodnight.”

Relief washed over Sooyoung as an end tone sounded off through the speaker, giving her a reason to deflate on the spot as if she didn’t go through the trouble of renting a bed for that very purpose. It was just a shame that, unlike most evenings, she wouldn’t be entwined in the arms of the one person that brought her the most peace. 

Oh, what she would’ve given to be at that woman’s side. 

Swallowing thick at the thought, Sooyoung failed the body check and immediately yielded to a series of dry coughs, throat rasping with an indignance that signalled the end to its tolerance for reckless neglect. 

And so, dredging up what little energy she had, she willed herself to approach the last thing that stood between her and a doubtlessly mediocre night’s rest: some fresh water, a la motel vending machine.

Shaking her pockets loose of both lint and change, she punched in the simple combo of “D-1” and closed her eyes in exhaustion, waiting ever-patiently for the telltale _thump_ of her desired prize dropping down. Unfortunately for her, the tale never got told. 

After a minute of patience, her eyes sprung open in disbelief to be met with the sick fate of a cold beverage stuck in its mortal, mechanical coil. She stared at the sight as it settled in, her mouth twisting upwards in a dangerously manic display of amusement.

_Oh, that’s nice. Even the universe is telling me to go fuck myself._

“You’re doing it all wrong, you know.”

Sooyoung jumped at the voice coming from behind her, interrupting the motion of a palm that previously intended to slap its way clean across her own forehead. Pointedly ignoring the unsolicited advice offered to her, she turned fully and squinted at its owner: a pea-sized, dainty girl with a fitting head of blonde hair stood before her, arms crossed in a stance that couldn’t be anything less than unimpressed. 

“Excuse me?”

“Watch.”

The girl, who reminded Sooyoung of a rabid chihuahua in both stature _and_ attitude, took a few steps back before charging forward in a frighteningly powerful turning kick that could’ve easily bested the toughest of unguarded men—or in this case, the rustiest of vending machines.

Sooyoung’s beverage fell gracelessly from its prison with an awkward _clunk_ , to which the unnamed girl puffed up with pride, as if expecting a roaring, standing ovation. 

A silence engulfed them instead.

“Uh, where are your parents?” said Sooyoung, finally massaging her temples for the relief that she denied herself with Hyejoo just moments before. 

“Where are _your_ parents?” scoffed the girl, clearly miffed at the lack of visual appreciation. 

“I’m 22.”

“And I’m 17. See, I can say stupid shit too.”

“Alright, just—” Sooyoung sighed at the teenager’s audacity and, for sanity’s sake, decided to cut the bizarre interaction short. “Whatever. Thanks.”

The girl gave her a toothy grin—the kind that decried any concept or understanding of ‘stranger danger’—and nodded satisfactorily as Sooyoung bent down to collect her drink.

“You’re welcome. That wasn’t so hard, now, was it?” 

Sooyoung grunted in response and turned to leave as fast as her legs would allow, just to be interrupted yet _again_ by the eclectic teen.

“Oh, hang on,” shouted the stranger, not in the least deterred by the considerable distance that Sooyoung had already put between them, “you wouldn’t happen to own that janky car parked out front, would you?”

Sooyoung spun her head back in certified whiplash, brows raised in the highest form of offense possible. _"Janky?"_

“So it _is_ yours? I knew it. Your headlights are beaming _directly_ through my window, thank you very much.”

“Uh—”

“And seriously, your car could use a wash. Or two.”

Sooyoung was, for lack of a better word, flabbergasted. “Listen here, you—”

 _"Yeojin!"_ A third voice materialised from seemingly thin air, its source neither discernible nor close in proximity. 

“Anyway, that’s my cue to leave. This whole brooding thing you’ve got going on is really killing my vibe—smiling is free, ya know.” 

The girl flitted away with a bounce and a skip, ultimately ending what was otherwise an incredibly absurd conversation as Sooyoung stood all by her lonesome, mouth hung open in stunned submission. 

_What the goddamn hell was that?_

Although her heart of hearts told her that she couldn’t have _possibly_ committed the oversight of something as heinous as leaving the Highs on, Sooyoung knew it was better to be safe than sorry. 

Taking a gulp from her newly acquired drink, she made a steady pace to the parking lot where, lo and behold, her car sat—and sure enough, its headlights were still beaming as if she were sitting behind the wheel. Perhaps not as brightly as what _Yeojin_ made it out to be, but inconsiderate enough to inconvenience someone’s night.

_Well._

Sooyoung wasted no time as she clambered in and switched them off, only to slump over the wheel with finality as she allowed herself to temporarily bask in the comfort that the Camaro offered; and whether her next action was a byproduct of seeking reassurance or simple nostalgia, both of which she couldn’t be certain of, her hand had drifted and popped open the glove compartment to reveal a single, weathered polaroid picture. 

Frail and yellowing at the edges, it captured the marvelous stillness of a cascading waterfall amongst lush green—the backdrop to four smiling faces, careless and free. 

_Smiling is free, ya know._

Sooyoung held a small sneer as the girl’s words ran loops on her conscience, carefully tucking the picture into her breast pocket. Deciding that the night had more than run its due course, she exited the car and gave its metal hood an endearing tap before heading back to the room that awaited her. 

“Maybe we’ll stop by a car-wash later.”

  
  


***

  
  


_Wow, she actually locked it,_ Sooyoung mused as the derelict knob of their bedroom refused to budge under light force. _Guess I did take a while._

Reminiscent of all the times that she’d entered Jiwoo’s apartment at obscene hours, astute memory guided her to be quiet as she found the appropriate key that would get her out of the cold; but before she unlocked the door and stepped inside, curiosity brought her eyes towards the window to introduce a small, but valid concern. Even in being covered by curtains, the complete lack of light lended to her growing suspicions that Hyejoo was already fast asleep on her own. 

Sighing, she gave the door a delicate push while also taking care to muffle the sound of her soles in transition from vinyl to cheap carpet.

“Hyejoo,” she whispered, to which no answer was given in kind. _"Shit."_

Now squinting to see, Sooyoung attempted to navigate the room with broad, clumsy steps so as to avoid any haphazardly strewn bags that would’ve threatened her balance. It was an old trick she’d perfected over years of sneaking in and out of homes like the former couchsurfer she was, and one that she felt more indifferent to, than proud of.

The impromptu course eventually led her to sit on an old wing chair while she untied the strings of her boots and placed them to the side, opting to ignore the bed altogether as she mulled over what to do next. It wasn’t until her sister rolled over, groaning, that she remembered an important detail:

Hyejoo was, and always has been, a light sleeper.

And of all the things Sooyoung _did_ know about being discreet, hopping into the same bed as someone else without making waves might’ve been the one thing that still eluded her as an amateur professional. However, in place of dejection, she was only filled with sympathy for the younger girl. Or maybe it was empathy. Or something in-between, perhaps? 

Whichever it was, the point still stood that for the first time in her life, she would have to be more than _just_ Sooyoung. She had to be an older sister as well; and while the idea might’ve scared the shit out of her, there was nobody else to fill that role for Hyejoo Ha.

 _If I can ever live up to it,_ she thought, letting her shoulders fall as the younger girl slept on without incident. Once fully adjusted to the dark, she leaned back and let the metronomic rise and fall of Hyejoo’s figure entice her weary self, starved for rest as it was, to adopt the same rhythm. No more thinking, it called. No more worrying. 

Arms folded and head getting heavier by the second, it didn’t take too long for her to move on from doing either.

  
  


***

  
  


_Empty._

Sooyoung pursed her lips as she eyed the tank indicator that neared the little “E”, the red spindle of its gauge darting back and forth in nervous motion. They’d been driving for what must’ve been an hour now, accompanied by nothing but the old-school rock that blared through her shitty, but beloved MP3 cassette player to fill the silence. 

Sooyoung, to be sure, was an old soul at heart. Why, simpler times would often see her with nothing but a dark, winding road and a tank full of gas to keep her company, a habit that brought her peace in what little ways she knew.

But what was peace, if not the product of solitude? That was something she _didn’t_ know, but it was becoming increasingly clear that she’d have to find out. 

She had always valued the time she had to herself, and there was all but naught to say about her obvious propensity to avoid groups that had yet to be addressed by her less-than-sterling reputation as a “quiet person”; especially in the eyes of those who hadn’t earned her trust. 

It would be wrong, however, to assume that her outlook was one that harbored hatred for actual company. Rather, it’d have been more accurate to say that she was inclined towards being cautious than inviting, and this most definitely came in play when it was time to select who’d be given the high honor of seeing beyond the mighty veil of Sooyoung Ha. All pretentiousness aside, of course. 

There was but one problem with the system—a flaw that deferred to its tendency to fall through in absolutely all regards when it came to the accountability of handing out said invitations. With the exception of Jiwoo, only two people had received the same honor, and they just so happened to be the younger girl’s friends. Now one could only imagine how hard it would be for her to open up on the fly. 

Except Sooyoung didn’t have to imagine. Not when Hyejoo was beside her, at least, going through a bag of dried mangoes as if they were just another brand of potato chips. Thus, while prolonged silence was never something she worried about before, stretches between conversations with her sister left something to be desired.

Road trips—if one could even call it that—were never designed to be individual experiences, after all. 

“Do you want anything?” Sooyoung asked as they pulled into the gas station. _No car wash here, either._

Hyejoo shook the now empty bag of mangoes and gave a short hum, tipping what little crumbs there were out the window. “Just another one of these.”

Sooyoung wrinkled her nose at the request, failing yet again to discern the impetus behind all that constituted Hyejoo Ha: dried mangoes were something of a childhood pastime for her sibling, and though she never took a liking to the sugary confection, the same couldn’t be said for Hyejoo’s certified obsession with them. 

“Cool.”

Sooyoung grabbed her wallet from its perch atop the console and hopped out of the driver’s seat, stretching luxuriously as she relieved any and all tension that her body had accumulated in their hour-long drive. 

After spending several minutes swimming in the heady odor of oil and petroleum, Sooyoung shook the handle of the gas pump for good measure and headed inside. She soon found herself roaming a series of dilapidated aisles, eyes carefully scanning each row before coming across a familiar air-sealed bag of green and yellow.

_There it is._

Sooyoung swatted at the cursed snack like a claw machine to its unseemly prize, turning swiftly to saunter her way towards the counter before stopping dead in her tracks upon recalling the two minutes it had taken Hyejoo to demolish the mangoes prior.

Sighing yet again, she spun a whole 180 degrees and marched back to grab three more bags, hands bursting in a rustle of plastic and foil once she parked herself in front of the cashier.

“Pump nine?” 

“Yeah,” said Sooyoung, signalling the affirmative as she dumped her miscellaneous collection of items onto the counter. “I’ll take these too. Thanks.”

The cashier nodded and began scanning in a symphony of _beeps_ and _boops_ , skillfully sweeping each purchase into a plastic bag soon thereafter.

“That’ll be $77.32.”

_You’re kidding me._

“Sure.” Sooyoung pried open her wallet and forked out the appropriate bills, subtly grimacing at the expenses newly incurred: everybody knew that money didn’t grow on trees, much less within the duffel bag that housed the rest of her livelihood in the Camaro’s back seat.

“Have a nice day!”

Sooyoung responded with a wave as she walked out, mulling over the logistics of their budget for the foreseeable future before spotting Hyejoo with her feet kicked up onto the dash. The woman raised a brow as she took the driver’s seat once more, shutting the door with perhaps a little more force than necessary.

“Hey, feet off,” she said, jamming her keys into the ignition.

Hyejoo frowned, though once again did as she was told. The telling expression didn’t last for long, however, as Sooyoung briefly fished around and tossed all four bags of the treasured snack into the younger’s lap.

“Here.”

“Four?”

“Should’ve been ten, with the way you’ve been eating them,” Sooyoung muttered, though the quip was drowned out by the sputter of an engine roaring back to life. 

“Thanks,” said the younger, a small grin evident in her voice as she tore open a bag with the same enthusiasm she’d have on Christmas day. At least, from what Sooyoung could remember.

_Jeez, she’s such a kid._

That’s right, Hyejoo _was_ only a kid—and although Sooyoung’s wallet was considerably lighter than when they first arrived, she soon decided that seeing a rare glimpse of happiness from her sister, no matter how small or fleeting, was much better than the opposite.

“Uh-huh.”

  
  


*******

  
  


The barren plains that they alone occupied seemed to stretch out for miles ahead, dipping past the listless horizon in a twisting, pebble-littered road that yielded little to no excitement as the arid weather sapped Sooyoung of both energy and spirit.

Sooyoung, to say the least, had never been graced with the straits of boredom quite like this, an affliction bolstered by the fact that her playlist was set to repeat for what felt like the third time in a row. 

“You wanna put something on?” she said, breaking the typical lull in conversation to glance at Hyejoo who was, predictably, munching away at her second bag of mangoes in full force.

“Uh, sure,” Hyejoo said, dusting her hands free of sugar before reaching out to plug the aux into her phone. 

“Pass me one of those after you’re done with that.”

The younger Ha raised a sharp eyebrow at the odd request, comical in expression yet monotone in delivery. “Really? _You_ want a dried mango?”

 _Is that what_ I _look like when I do that? No wonder Jiwoo always makes fun of me._

Sooyoung shrugged, feigning nonchalance as her stomach flipped in anticipated dread. “Dunno, maybe I’ll like it.”

Hyejoo’s brows shot up higher still, eyes narrowing in justified suspicion. 

_Huh. Maybe it’s a family thing._

“Okay…” Hyejoo said, offering Sooyoung a decent chunk, “here.”

Sooyoung eyed the tropical treat for an infinitesimal beat before popping the whole thing in one go, jaw cautiously moving to accommodate the foreign, and certainly unwelcome taste. She chewed once, then twice.

And then she gagged. 

Sooyoung coughed and hacked away as she struggled to swallow, ears perking to the sound of Hyejoo snickering in what could only be described as pure, unadulterated amusement. 

“Told you,” Hyejoo said, handing her a bottle of water mid-snicker.

“You didn’t tell me shit,” Sooyoung rasped, motioning for Hyejoo to unscrew the bottle before gratefully gulping down its contents. 

“Dramatic much? It’s just mango, dude,” Hyejoo said, still laughing at the older Ha’s expense.

“Ugh,” started Sooyoung, wiping tears of pain from her eyes as she recklessly tossed the bottle over her shoulder, “fuck _that."_

“Want another one?”

“Hilarious. Now put your music on before I bin the rest of whatever the hell that was out the window,” huffed Sooyoung, vying to regain what little dignity she had left after the pathetic attempt.

Though, clearly, there was none to be found. Sooyoung earned herself a snort at the empty threat, eyes narrowing as Hyejoo scrolled through her playlists before turning to face her with a mock salute and a wide-set grin. 

“Sure thing, boss.” 

  
  


***

  
  


_What’s in a name?_

Sooyoung turned the familiar phrase around in her head as she absentmindedly peered forward at the same, cheerless space of the highway laid before them, a complete and utter nothingness that, unsurprisingly for one as sullen as her, did little to affect what had become the woman’s natural state of being: broody.

Helped by a comfort found only in the rote, listless motion of driving, Sooyoung floored the pedal to its metal as she witnessed the drab landscape trade its telltale signs of civilization for a monotony of orange and brown instead; a sight that served to embolden—not curtail—the jumble of thoughts now brewing within.

Reality, as it’s always stood, rarely had much to offer her in terms of gifts.

However, as was the case in all inevitable laws of the universe, the time had come for the woman to confront what she’d previously been avoiding for the last five years of her troubled life; or at the very least, reassess what exactly it was about the Ha name—more accurately, the pensive teen in her passenger seat—that fostered her penchant for calamitous apathy.

To put it simply, Sooyoung wasn’t dense—she knew that they shared more than just a name. From the small, yet ardently charming town that strived to be more than enough for their lives thus far to the unseen ghosts that lingered still in their inextricably bound past, the fact of the matter was that _family,_ in all its manifestations, was a connection that they shared by birthright.

Sharing a _conversation,_ however, was an entirely different ballpark altogether, and one that the older Ha never had any reason to visit in a normal, willing capacity.

Until now.

“Uh, hey? What’s wrong with this thing?”

“Huh?” answered Sooyoung, jolting out of her Shakespearean reverie with a start.

“The music just died,” said Hyejoo, frowning at the frayed aux cable as she twisted it back and forth to no avail. 

Sooyoung glanced at the mangled sight, eyes widening as she reached to pop out the cassette player before jamming it back in again—but alas, the clumsy device was well and truly gone, signalling the end to what was now a mere relic of the past.

“Dammit,” muttered Sooyoung, grip tightening on the wheel.

_This is the worst goddamn thing to happen all week._

The absence of their escapade’s only saving grace lent itself to a different kind of silence, one that Sooyoung did _not_ enjoy in the slightest—and while those with her best interests at heart would call this nothing short of a fortuitous coincidence, the woman herself saw it as something else entirely: ill-fated circumstance. Or maybe they were two sides of the same coin? 

The silence, to say the least, was deafening as a fresh awkwardness only hardened with the passage of time. 

And so twenty long, long minutes went by before anything else was said, courtesy of—and predictably—a question from the milder-mannered Ha.

“Does it still hurt?” 

“What?” Sooyoung asked, voice flat and distant in its mourning over the plastic box.

“Your lip. It looked pretty bad,” Hyejoo clarified, and it was then that Sooyoung noticed her voice tinged with something foreign, yet not entirely unwelcome: concern. 

_Oh, man. It’s getting weird._

“I’ve had worse,” she said, waving the unfamiliar feeling away before backtracking upon seeing Hyejoo’s pursed lips at the quick dismissal. “Still hurts like a bitch, though.”

The younger Ha only hummed as silence fell upon them once more, but rather than being nigh unbearable like last time, it seemed that the honesty she brought had levelled some of their shared anxiety. But only some.

_Yep. Definitely weird._

“Wait—” She saw Hyejoo point off into the distance after some time. “Do you see that?”

Sooyoung let her attention divert from the road for just a second as she followed the stray finger to catch a glimpse of what her sister had noticed. Not too far ahead of them was a poorly parked car with one door ajar and two silhouettes slumped against its side, hands hanging still in the air to flag down any passersby that would’ve kindly rescued them from misfortune.

“Wonder what happened to them...”

“Guess we’ll find out soon enough,” Sooyoung said, hand already on the gear as she prepared to make a full stop—something in which she always had an imagination for, but never got the chance to live out thanks to living in a small town her entire life.

“This might be fun.”

Pulling up unannounced, she heard someone call out as the gap between their vehicles closed. It was a girl with chin-length hair and eyes much like Jiwoo’s, if not somehow kinder and more alluring. Somehow. 

“Oh, thank God,” the beauty said, approaching Hyejoo’s side. “We haven’t seen anyone else in like an hour.”

“Wha—” Sooyoung started, but Hyejoo ended up finishing the thought for both of them instead.

“Did you need help with something?”

“Yeah! Kahei, go ahead.” Miss Thing motioned over to her friend who, upon respectful inspection, was also in a league of her own. 

“I already said I don’t know what’s wrong with it.” The other girl sighed before meeting Sooyoung’s gaze. “We were driving and it just kinda… stopped.”

 _Definitely the battery,_ the older Ha nodded. 

“Can you pop the hood?”

“Yeah. Haseul—” 

“I got it,” Hyejoo said as she left the Camaro and walked to Kahei’s Beater. It wasn’t even a minute later that all three of them heard the click of a released hatch, and with it, the possibility of getting out of this would-be desert at a reasonable hour.

Sooyoung hummed in satisfaction from her spot behind the Camaro and began rummaging through the haphazard contents of her trunk—which included, but was not limited to: an old flashlight, a muddy first aid kit, a checkered picnic mat, and a blanket belonging to Jiwoo—until she found her faithful pair of jumper cables, at the ready and smelling of old oil. 

“Want me to hook it up while you start the engine?” came Hyejoo’s voice, floating nearer as she walked over to the older Ha with Kahei by her side.

Sooyoung raised a signature Ha eyebrow and regarded her sister for a beat, to which she followed it up by asking the most obvious question.

“You know how to?”

“Yup. I had to help… _that guy_ once.”

“Oh,” started Sooyoung, “Then sure. Here,” she finished, befuddlement written all across her features as she handed the cables over while resisting the urge to ask how exactly her younger sister came to be acquainted with _jumpstarting a dead engine_ of all things, but if the last answer was anything to go by, they had more or less started out the same way.

Hyejoo nodded and started back towards the stranded car, leaving Sooyoung to stand in the presence of a stranger who, much like the Ha siblings, was one half to a curious whole. 

“You guys make a good team,” giggled Kahei as she waved to her friend—girl _friend?_ —who was now leaning over the hood and intently staring at Hyejoo’s handiwork, silky bob and all.

 _If the shoe fits,_ Sooyoung thought. “Guess you can say that,” she said, saving her own thoughts on the matter for when she had some time to take it in—especially considering that unloading 22 years of familial drama on an unsuspecting stranger was _not_ on her list of priorities for the day. “Get in, it’ll only take a sec.”

The impromptu mechanic sidled up to the front of the Camaro with Kahei in tow, determinedly twisting the keys in her ignition until she received a thumbs-up from Hyejoo who, upon confirming the telltale roar of a sputtering engine, was now being engulfed in a bear hug by a woman two heads shorter than her. 

The sight induced a rare, small smile from Sooyoung—the first all week—before a stray thought quickly molded the expression into something a little more serious. 

“Hey,” she started, turning to look at Kahei, “It’s kind of a long shot but… do you know this place?” The older Ha carefully lifted the old polaroid from her breast pocket, holding it out in the waning afternoon light for the dazzling stranger to see. 

“It looks familiar.” Kahei paused to study the artifact. “But I’ve seen a lot of waterfalls. They start to blend together after a little bit,” she continued, shaking her head. “Sorry.”

Sooyoung’s jaw tightened as her expectations were done away with, but she also knew better than to fault someone who was more than willing to help her.

“Thanks anyway,” she said, smiling once more. “Have a good trip.”

“You too.”

Waving the dynamic duo off, there was nothing left to do but watch as Kahei’s old Beemer sped back onto the interstate like a brand new ride. While the scene itself didn’t bring much, being able to claim a job well done did its best to keep her in higher spirits.

 _At least I tried,_ Sooyoung thought; and for once, that was okay by her.

“Assistant Ha,” she called at Hyejoo before tossing the cables. “Please put those in the trunk while I get us warmed up.”

A small grin accompanied the request, followed by a short, but purposeful saunter back to her left-side leather throne. It was getting more obvious that, for someone who hated company, she was also the first to jump on the opportunity to tease another person. 

While some would’ve qualified it as a product of wit, others recognized it as a love language all on its own— _some_ being restricted to Jiwoo and Friends, of course, but that’s besides the point. Simply put, her famously cold exterior was falling apart at the seams, and she was better for it overall. As for the implications it had on her and Hyejoo’s relationship, those effects were still to be seen. The irreplaceable smile on her face, however, was clear as day to anyone who could see it.

Not wasting any time, the SS came to life as promised under a single twist of her worn out key. The howl of spurred metal, soothing as ever, gave her even more reason to feel content under the midwest sun, and had Jiwoo been there to share the moment with her, Sooyoung was sure that it would’ve been nothing short of bliss. 

That was, until she heard the firm _click_ of a locked trunk, coupled with a distinct sound—one that she feared far too much to not be acquainted with—of something running against the freshly waxed exterior.

Sooyoung’s head couldn’t have whipped back any faster than it did, meeting her sister’s widened eyes for all they had to offer: nothing, save for the look of genuine terror that could be read from a mile away. It was just like last time, but things were different now. Or at the very least, there was a chance for it to be.

“How bad is it?” she asked while trying to quell the obvious fire in her eyes. It wasn’t easy, but it was a step in the right direction. 

“It’s… noticeable,” said Hyejoo. Though grave, her expression told Sooyoung to not assume the worst; so she didn’t. However, her sister’s testimony didn’t do much to help the case, either. “I’m sor—”

“Don’t sweat it,” the older Ha said, taking a moment to gather her breath. _So much for bliss._ “Just be careful next time.”

Hyejoo froze as if she was reliving the fight that got them here to begin with, but after a few blinks of her own, the girl found it in herself to slide back into the passenger seat. “Okay,” she said, still visibly struggling to comprehend the response she got.

“Good. Now pass me another slice of that junk.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whew, better late than never amirite
> 
> yes, their semi-terrible playlist actually [exists](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4nbMkB1dykrMzHtjVhp1kj) and no, i do not claim any of the dad rock listed--that's all tran. which, speaking of, go read [honey + pine green](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24345301/chapters/58704949)!
> 
> please feel free to regale us with your painfully awkward familial relationships; god knows we've all been there lmao
> 
> updates coming soon™
> 
> \---
> 
> come say hi:  
> tran / [@commedesgowons](https://twitter.com/commedesgowons)  
> v / [@souIarium](https://twitter.com/souIarium)


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